


I Hate Coffee, But I Love You

by carofnerds



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, M/M, Multi, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-13
Updated: 2013-09-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 10:14:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carofnerds/pseuds/carofnerds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sips doesn't like coffee, but he drinks a lot of it. His favourite coffee is different because it's from a coffee shop, ‘The Captive Creeper’, so it's not from a jar of instant, or if it is it's not like he can tell the difference.<br/>Sjin is the new barista, and Sips wants Sjin to stay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Hate Coffee, But I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Wow okay, so first off this is my longest fic! Ever! Wow! Such write!  
> Secondly, this is stupidly cliche because it's a coffee shop au, just to warn you.  
> Thirdly, it was inspired by this image: http://thumbpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/funny-barista-coffee-shop-sign-gay1.jpg?8e9336  
> And finally, I hope you enjoy it~~~ <3

Sips doesn't like coffee, but he drinks a lot of it. It's bitter against his tongue, no matter how much sugar he heaps into his mug after he wakes, eyes bleary with a lack of sleep. He has one cup when he wakes up, fills a flask before he leaves for work to take with him which inevitably goes cold in his truck and he has to chug it before he leaves the office car park, has about three from the office coffee machine, and then it's lunch break. Lunch break is important because he leaves work for more coffee. This coffee is different because it's from a coffee shop, ‘The Captive Creeper’, so it's not from a jar of instant, or if it is it's not like he can tell the difference.

Really, although he wouldn't admit it out loud, he goes for the environment of the shop. There's something comforting about the warmth and bustle of the shop, so he likes to slump into an armchair and banter with whoever approaches him, be it staff or customer.

And then when he leaves, he returns to work, where he sits in his open and empty office at the top of the building, and drinks more machine coffee, and then he drives home to his apartment where he has just himself and his work to think about. He feels hollow, and he can't explain it because he knows people who would kill for his wealth and personal space, and he can't fix it either because he hates animals. Sips goes to bed and lies awake, waiting for the caffeine to wear out, and then after three hours of barely restful sleep the cycle starts again. Since he's lazy and doesn't see the point in trying, Sips lets the cycle be, and drifts.

-

One particular day, Sips parks his car on the high street and heads for the coffee shop. The outside is usually pretty nondescript and painted a dark green, with a chalkboard of prices and offers sat outside in the street that normally goes unnoticed. Today, however, a stick figure waving is haphazardly drawn on it, which catches his eye.

"What the fuck," Sips mutters to himself as he stops in front of the chalkboard and leans down to read it. It says:

'Today your barista (the hot one with badass facial hair) is  
1) Hella fucking gay  
2) Desperately single  
Today I'd reccomend  
That you give me your number.'

Unfortunately, the description on the board is completely accurate. The barista gives a slightly buck toothed smile from behind the counter when Sips comes in, and waves. He has light chestnut hair, and a lot of it. His fringe is coiffed back, and his moustache and beard are waxed in a way that reminds Sips of a Victorian gentleman. He is also upsettingly attractive. Like, Sips honestly had to blink when the guy caught his eye because it was a bit much. Physically, he's pretty skinny and average height, not that Sips doesn't find himself looking. His skin is slightly tanned, although compared to the pallor of Sips' own skin that's not exactly surprising, wonderful facial bone structure because Sips swears he could cut things on his cheekbones, but most importantly, he has piercingly blue eyes. Stupidly blue. Inescapably blue. Shit.

"Uh, hey," Sips mumbles when he reaches the bar, and looks to the guy’s chest for a name badge. The badge reads ‘My name is: Sjin’. The j and i are dotted with a smiley face. Cute. “How do I pronounce...?”

The barista giggles. “It’s S-jin. Nice to meet you.”

“S- like _Shin_?”

“N-no like S-jin.”

“S-Shin?”

“Nevermind,” Sjin sighs softly. “Not many people can actually pronounce it. What can I get you?” He smiles again, and a warm pool of relief settles in Sips’ belly.

“Uh, a black coffee with lots of sugar would be great,” Sips asks, watching Sjin’s movements as he goes about making his order. “Minty knows what I like usually.”

Sjin giggles, and the fluttering sound of his breaths probably gets to Sips more than it should. He’s only just met this guy after all. “Minty knows what everyone likes. She’s like super barista.”

Sips nods and grins. "Sure she does. And she'll kick my ass if she hears me disagree as well." He savours the tumbling notes of Sjin's laugh again, and takes his coffee with a contented smile. “Thanks.”

“Anything else?” Sjin hums, and he stares at Sips with those intense blue eyes that Sips can’t look away from. It’s nice, and it’s not like Sips hasn’t been in a huge dry spell since his high school girlfriend Zoey split up with him on good terms five years ago. Last he saw of her she was dating some artsy hipster guy with a scarred up face, but each to their own. Sjin seems actually interested in him, but Sjin doesn’t know him.

Yet, says a little voice at the back of Sips’ head. He could know you, if you let him. If you break the cycle.

In an attempt to ignore the voice, Sips takes a gulp of coffee and points to the shortbreads on the counter. He grimaces as the scalding, bitter coffee hits his palate.

Sjin arches a quizzical eyebrow as he puts a shortbread onto a small plate and gives it a squirt of cream. “Are you okay? Did I do it wrong?”

“No- no it’s fine Sjin don’t worry,” Sips chokes through the burning in his throat, feeling an embarrassed blush rise on his cheeks. “I just- I don’t actually like coffee.”

The puzzled look he receives from Sjin doesn’t help him stop blushing, so he looks away. “Why are you drinking it then?” Sjin squeaks, and it’s pretty endearing except for the fact that Sips really doesn’t want to explain himself after they’ve just met or embarrass himself further in front of the barista.

“Come on,” Sjin coaxes with a wry smile, “You can tell me.”

Sips frowns. “I’m not a kid.”

“Well that is surprising considering how you’re acting like a young girl with a crush,” Sjin says, winking.

Choosing to ignore that comment because of its accuracy, Sips sighs and hands Sjin a ten pound note. “I’m a businessman. My mom always said if I wanna be taken seriously I gotta drink coffee. Also, I’m tired a lot.”

“Beware of deadly caffeine addiction,” Sjin sings, processing Sips’ buys and printing a receipt. “I could be seeing you a lot more often-”

There’s a pat on Sips’ shoulder, and he turns. A tall guy with a fluffy ginger beard is stood in a really long line behind him that... wasn’t there before. Ah. “Excuse me but you’re holding up the line?”

“Oh, uh, sorry,” Sips says, turning back to collect his food and drink. Sjin mouths ‘Oops’ at him and passes him a tray which Sjin had arranged with all his buys on it, plus his receipt and change. “Thanks,” Sips mutters, and hurries to a chair in the corner of the shop.

When he looks at the receipt at the end of his lunch, he notices an eleven digit number and a ‘Who are you? Call me! ;) - Sjin’.

-

He doesn’t call Sjin. He can’t. Sjin is cheerful and attractive and probably wants some fairytale romance and won’t understand Sips’ sense of humour. Or something.

Sips’ afternoon at work is distracted to say the least. Working as a dirt salesman isn’t the most taxing job now that he’s established himself, but he still ends up ignoring paperwork and contracts in favour of his thoughts. His assistant Frank buzzes in three times, checking that he has signed off that very important deal, the one about selling a large tract of farmland to a scientific development facility, but each time he’s already forgotten about it. When he gets back to his open apartment, he catches his reflection in the large windows that span the right side of his mostly empty (except for a couch, coffee table and large tv) living room. Short, pale, tubby, and a lot less hair than Sjin had. The polar opposite of Sjin in fact. When he’s in his bed, lying awake with a caffeine headache and staring at the dimly lit ceiling, he thinks about how maybe everything else about them would be opposite. How it wouldn’t be worth calling Sjin anyway, because they wouldn’t gel properly.

The hollow feeling worsens, and the voice in the back of his head sulks indignantly.

-

The chalkboard outside the shop doesn’t have Sjin’s personal advertisement on it anymore. Instead, it says in all caps, ‘WHY HAVEN’T YOU CALLED ME? :(‘

He almost turns around and tries to find another shop, until a blonde woman grabs his the front of his shirt and holds him in place. “Hello Sips,” she says sweetly, too sweetly considering the murder in her eyes and vice grip she holds him with.

“Hey Minty,” Sips replies, gulping. “What’s the problem?”

“You didn’t call Sjin,” she states, her voice like ice. The owner of ‘The Captive Creeper’, Minty was a sweetheart most of the time, except for when she needed to get tough. And after years of serving Sips coffee, and becoming a long-suffering friend, she’d learnt exactly when that was.

Sips bites his lip. “Would you believe that I was busy being a successful CEO? Taking calls, avoiding taxes, stealing money from the poor, making babies cry...” Minty silences him with a glare.

“Sips,” she sighs exasperatedly, “Sjin means a lot to me. We dated in college, at least before I introduced him to his sexuality. A week ago, he turns up and says he needs a job, and I know him well enough to trust him as a good employee. He thinks you’re really cute, and he’s been pining since he came out of a tough break-up half a year ago, so please, please, please,” She pauses, staring into Sips’ eyes with a fervour that Sips can only interpret as ‘I am being deadly serious, keyword being _deadly_.’ “Go into that shop and talk to him. Now.”

Minty basically pushes Sips to the counter before flouncing into the back room. “I expect results!” she shouts as she leaves. What would happen if she didn’t get those results isn’t something Sips wants to dwell on, so he instead looks up at Sjin. The barista looks irritated, but more importantly, his awfully blue eyes are turned down at the corners with disappointment.

“I met you yesterday!” Sips says plaintively.

“I was still hoping you were at least interested.”

“Maybe I am Sjin, but it might’ve been a while.”

“It’s been a while for me too.”

“It’s been longer for me.”

A silence falls between them, and Sjin turns around to make a coffee. It occurs to Sips that he hasn’t even ordered, but he doesn’t say anything about it. Making things worse is the opposite of what he needs right now. Instead he picks at the edge of the marble counter and coughs. Sjin turns his head slightly.

“Listen, Sjin,” Sips mumbles. “You don’t even know who I am. And I- I kinda wanna get to know you and Minty seems to think you wanna, ya know, do the same thing but the other way round and-” He groans, annoyed at himself. “You won’t like it.”

Sjin laughs, and Sips doesn’t know whether to be happy about it or offended. “I know Minty remember? She briefed me on who you were seconds after you left yesterday. So, _Sips_ , I am pursuing you even if I do know who you are. I’d like to get to know you, and not just by word of mouth.”

“You fucker,” Sips growls, but he’s smiling, and relieved. “I guess I’m kinda behind then, eh buster?”

“You know it,” Sjin replies, pushing a coffee into Sips’ hands. Sips takes a small mouthful of the hot drink, and the sweetness bursts across his tongue, dulling the bitter tang of coffee that he’s accustomed to.

“This isn’t coffee.”

“It’s a mocha, so it’s half hot chocolate. I figured you have a sweet tooth.” Sjin moves to plate a slice of today’s cake for Sips, and adds, “You want to catch up?”

Sips looks over his shoulder, and a couple of people are already waiting in line. “I- I want to but uh, the line. Ya know, after yesterday.” He shrugs apologetically.

“With your body? Please,” Sjin grins, “You could falcon punch them into the next galaxy.” His offensively blue eyes watch as Sips breaks into borderline hysterical laughter, and he smiles even wider.

Catching his breath, Sips reaches into his pocket for his wallet. “As much as I could, I’d probably get arrested by like, SHIELD or something. For abusing my awesome power.”

Sjin swats at Sips’ wrist. “This is on me. I’ll take an early break and sit with you, whether you like it or not.” He winks, and then relaxes into a shyer smile than Sips has seen so far from him. “I like your laugh.”

Sips carries his tray to a two person booth and tries to hide the fact that he blushes the whole way. By the time Sjin joins him a few minutes later, he hasn’t quite managed to get rid of it.

-

Sjin is perfect.

Sips almost hates to admit it, because then he’d have to face the truth that he very nearly let Sjin slip by. But now they’ve shared lunch in the shop more than a dozen times over the past month, and even when they aren’t sharing, Sips still eats near the counter and chats with Sjin, even if Minty has to turf him out for distracting her staff while Sjin lies on the floor laughing hysterically.

But it’s not like they’re actually dating, just good friends with a mutual interest in each other. They haven’t been to dinner or anything ‘romantic’, not that Sips considers himself to really be a romantic person. It wouldn’t even bother him, if it weren’t for the fact that he’s so desperate to keep Sjin, maybe even deepen what they have already.

He’s in his boxers in the kitchen of his apartment when he calls Honeydew. There’s a frying pan and a jug of homemade pancake mix on the side, ready to make some comfort food magic. Sips has flour on his face and there’s butter on his really expensive phone, but this is an important phone call.

The dial tone sounds four times before Honeydew picks up. “Hello? Sips?”

“Hello,” Sips replies, in keeping with strange Honeydew phone etiquette. Sips had met the man in a bar while he was at college, and they struck up a friendship easily. Honeydew was the type of person it was almost impossible to dislike, and he also enjoyed some good banter and a drink with Sips. Since Sips isn’t close with many other people, due to his abrasiveness according to Minty, Honeydew had naturally become his best friend.

“Hello. What’s up friend? I was sort of making dinner with Xeph, sorry.”

Despite being the same age as Sips, Honeydew had somehow got himself a very young boyfriend called Xephos, who was the perfect contrast to Honeydew’s clownish look out on life. He could be a bit uptight and easily rambled on, but Sips liked him enough. “I - Okay are you good to just like, stop and listen? Because I need to talk at you buster.”

“Oh jeez, sure, give me a sec,” Honeydew says, and Sips can hear the muffled sound of Honeydew talking to Xephos for a moment. “Okay, we’re putting you on speaker man.”

“Aw fuck c’mon-”

“Sips!” Xephos’ voice rings down the line. “Hey friend.”

“Hey Xeph.”

“So,” Honeydew says cheerily into the phone, “What’s the problem?”

Sips inhales deeply, and then sighs. “So I, uh, I met someone a few weeks ago-”

“And you didn’t tell me?!” Honeydew screeches, cutting Sips off in his tracks.

“Honeydew, just give him a chance,” Xephos mumbles, exasperated. “So, who are they?”

“He’s a barista at the ‘Creeper’, he gave me his number on a receipt like a huge fuckin’ dork.”

“So you’re made for each other then.”

“Jeez, thanks. Pretty rude of you ‘Silk Shirt’,” Sips grinned at his use of the nickname. He only used it when he thought Xephos was being a snob, and right now was a very appropriate time.

“Well it’s true! And he gave you his number on a receipt, how old is he? Eighteen?”

“Twenty-five.”

“Oh so he’s older than me then,” Xephos says, sounding a little surprised.

“Not everyone can be so collected and mature so disturbingly young Xeph,” Honeydew chimes in. Sips can practically hear the shit-eating grin on his face, and it makes him think of Sjin whenever he manages to make Sips flush. There’s a thumping noise, which Sips suspects to be a kitchen implement swatting his best friend’s belly, and a yelp, and then they’re back.

“So what’s the problem with this guy then?” Xephos continues.

“I don’t know what to do for a date or something,” Sips says, running his free hand through his hair.

“I bet he was about to make pancakes when he called me,” Honeydew interrupts. “Weren’t you about to make pancakes Sips?”

“God damn it Honeydew, sometimes I need a bit of comfort okay, I’m a grown man with fucking needs-”

“Told you,” Honeydew sounds ridiculously smug. “Why are you so stressed? If he works at the Creeper then you probably see him every day, right?”

“Yeah...” Sips frowns, wondering what his friend is getting at.

“Well you’re basically dating already. Just invite him back to your place and make him dinner! Simple.”

“But ask for his allergies first!” Xephos says sternly. Ah yes, Honeydew and Xephos had spent their fourth date in A&E due to Xephos’ peanut allergy. It couldn’t have been particularly romantic.

“Seriously Sips,” Honeydew says, ignoring Xephos’ pointed jab at him, “You’re almost there anyway by the sound of it. Just make him some food at your place.”

When Sips hangs up, he takes the jug of pancake mix and puts it in the fridge. It’ll come in handy later.

-

When Sips walks the six streets to the shop at lunch the next day, he has a plan. He chats with Sjin, takes his order, and pays with two five pound notes. “The extra one’s your tip, you asshole,” he grumbles at Sjin, “You better take it, otherwise I’d think you don’t deserve it because you talk to customers too much and never do any work. Or something like that.” He winks, and for the first time ever, takes his lunch to go.

He wishes he could see Sjin’s face when he takes a look at the tip note and sees ‘my place, 8.30 tonight. call me if you’re in’, but it’d ruin the shock factor that he’s aiming for. His phone rings about thirty seconds after he walks out the door, so he considers it a win.

-

Sjin arrives at his apartment on time, wearing an orange shirt and the tightest jeans Sips has ever seen on an actual person. So, of course he can’t help but stare a little.

“You look good,” he says, grinning dopily, “Though the neon is a bit much. You trying to flag down a plane?”

Sjin giggles as he walks past Sips and over the threshold. Sips doesn’t miss the fact that Sjin’s hand brushes across his chest as the barista passes. “Of course I am Sips. I’m actually a member of the secret police out to kill you, and when I’m done killing you I’m gonna stand outside and the secret police plane will see me and fly down to pick me up.” He shuffles off his shoes and places them by the door.

Closing the front door and squaring up in front of Sjin, Sips gingerly places a hand on the taller man’s hip. “So, this is my place.”

Biting his lip a little with his front teeth, Sjin looks around. “It’s pretty big.”

“So are a lot of things,” Sips replies, raising his eyebrows. Sjin flushes and swats at his shoulder. “What?! A lot of things are big, like my tower, or a cruise ship, or the fuckin’ moon.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sjin hums, and he hesitates for a moment. Sips is about to question it when Sjin’s arms move up and wind around his neck. “You want to give me a tour or what?”

Sips inhales shakily, and he knows his quickened heartbeat is not thanks to caffeine for once. Sjin smells like dry grass, and a salt breeze, and clean leather, and the scents fill Sips all at once and are dizzying. He can feel his mouth getting wetter with lust, and he feels hot all over as Sjin runs his amazingly blue eyes up and down Sips’ form.

But dinner is to be had, so he coughs, and takes his hands from Sjin’s waist, where they apparently settled of their own accord. “Dinner actually, you want dinner? I’m fuckin’ starving Sjin, I’m like a guy who just ran a marathon on nothing but a pot noodle.”

“A hobbit without second breakfast,” Sjin quips.

“What is that, Harry Potter _again_ Sjin? Jeez,” Sips laughs, and places two plates at his breakfast bar. Then he goes to the fridge, and picks out the jug of pancake mix from yesterday. He can hear Sjin chattering about ‘expelliarmus’ or something behind him, but he’s too focussed on his plans to take part. “Hey Sjin, you know how I invited you to dinner?”

“Yes?” Sjin purrs, and Sips has to work hard to repress the shudder that it triggers.

“Well it’s more breakfast. In the evening. Evening breakfast, everyone’s favourite meal,” Sips places the jug in front of Sjin. “Canadian breakfast, if you want to enforce stereotypes, and who doesn’t? If I’m honest Sjin, my life’s aim is to reinforce a stereotype.”

Giggling, Sjin reaches up and caresses Sips’ cheek with one hand. He’s done it twice before, but it’s still a foreign feeling that fills Sips with joy and warmth. “We’re having pancakes aren’t we you joker?”

“Yeah, course we are,” Sips mumbles in reply, and he hates that he has to pull away from Sjin’s hand to start cooking, so as he does he strokes the back of Sjin’s hand. Sjin smiles and blushes, and Sips wants to fistpump or shout or dance right there, because Sjin is here, and Sjin wants him.

While he’s prepping the pan, he doesn’t notice Sjin behind him until the pancake mix is being poured in by a slender hand on the jug. Sips turns, and looks up at Sjin, who places the jug on the counter. The barista laughs breathily, and runs a hand down Sips’ side. “If you weren’t cooking right now, I’d ask you to kiss me.”

Sips doesn’t wait for the pancake to cook before he does just that.

-

“You should come to my place sometime,” Sjin says, hands fussing with the collar of Sips’ tee. His breath smells sweet from all the maple syrup, and Sips has to hold back from trying to taste it again on Sjin’s tongue. “Not that you’d be particularly impressed.”

“How about some time this week?” Sips asks, eyes drifting between Sjin’s eyes and his mouth.

“Wednesday’s good,” Sjin hums, leaning in.

“Wednesday sounds great,” Sips practically purrs, and he kisses Sjin again.

-

Sjin’s apartment is much smaller. The couch is falling apart, there’s a damp stain on the ceiling of every room, the carpets have holes and the only thing that can apparently cook anything is the microwave. He rents with a reclusive guy called Lalna, who thinks he’s a scientist and keeps dead things in the freezer and smells funny and apparently knows Xephos somehow. Sips doesn’t particularly approve, but if Xephos knows him then he can’t be all so bad. Sjin smirks, and once his bedroom door closes behind them he whispers, “We’ve got a mutual hate agreement going on. It’s complicated, but beneficial.”

By this point however, Sips has forgotten all about Sjin’s roommate. “These are awesome,” he gasps, approaching the many drawings on the walls. Drawings of ornate balconies, homely cottages, impressive skyscrapers and uniform houses. Designs and calculations, and suddenly Sips wonders if he really does know this man at all. The rest of the space is taken up by clutter, games and dvds and clothes strewn about without much care.

“I want to be an architect,” Sjin mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck. “But I haven’t managed to get a work placement. Even though I have a degree, it’s like I’m useless anyway. It sucks.”

This time when Sips kisses Sjin, he does it to make Sjin feel wanted.

-

Kissing Sjin becomes Sips’ new caffeine. He stops drinking coffee, starts drinking hot chocolate, and kisses Sjin whenever he can. He’s working better than he ever has, and he gets up in the mornings without needing caffeine, although he’s still slow and lacklustre about it. Time spent without Sjin is spent texting him, or planning to go out with him. Honestly, he’s probably driving Xephos, Honeydew and Minty completely spare, but he doesn’t give a damn. Sjin is new, and he wants Sjin to stay.

They go out to a movie, and don’t even make it into the screening because Sjin finds a quiet spot behind the cinema, where they talk, and at some point the talking becomes kissing, though Sips isn’t really sure what point it was. He stops caring pretty quickly as well, because Sjin’s mouth is warm and his taste is indescribable but so very fresh and so very Sjin. His hands move across Sjin’s torso and Sjin’s hands move across his and he shudders because it has been a while and Sjin has magic hands or something. When they break for air, Sips nibbles at Sjin’s neck and hears a gasp of, “What are we, sixteen?”

Sips can’t really argue with that, because they are behaving like teenagers and it’s like when he was sixteen and with Zoey all over again, making out wherever and whenever just because they could and their hormones were raging, but nowadays he doesn’t have that teenaged excuse; he just can’t get enough of Sjin.

“You should see the pictures of sixteen year old me, I was hardcore,” he chuckles into Sjin’s skin.

“How many piercings?” Sjin hums, and Sips grins up at him as he replies, “Eleven.”

When he comes to the shop on his lunchbreak the next week, he makes Sjin laugh, and then Sjin is kissing him over the counter, and it’s wonderful. At least until Minty kicks him out for distracting her staff again, but really this is partly her fault.

-

He’s in his office sifting through some profit projection graphs when he hears a knock on the door. Dumping the papers on his desk and leaning back in his chair, he calls, “Who is it?”

The door opens a crack, and Sjin slips into the office, still wearing his work apron, and carrying two drinks. “Hey.”

Sips grins and beckons Sjin over. “Hey. What’re you doing here? Don’t you have a job?” He takes the drink Sjin offers him and holds it up to his nose. “Caramel?”

“Thought you might like a pick-me-up. So sue me if I want to look after my boyfriend,” Sjin says, smiling. There’s a glint in his eye that Sips can’t quite place. “And I missed you.”

“It’s been two days since I last saw you Sjin,” Sips replies, cocking his head slightly to the side. Sjin had been visiting family at the weekend, and although the constant text updates where Sjin moaned about how spoiled he was getting by his parents were endearing, Sips had still missed hearing about it by word of mouth. He’d called on Saturday evening, but Sjin had been at dinner and couldn’t return it.

“I’m crazy for you Sips,” Sjin says, mocking a swoon and placing his drink on the desk.

“Yeah let me just call an institution, you stalker.”

Sjin giggles, and then runs a warm hand along Sips' shoulder. His eyes darken a little, and he bites his lip with his two front teeth. Sips instinctively places his drink alongside Sjin’s. Normally, he’d retort back, but the way Sjin is looking at him makes his throat dry. With a sway of his hips, the barista sits in Sips’ lap and fingers the collar of his shirt. His lashes flutter as he looks at Sips with those half-lidded ridiculously blue eyes and Sips is gone. His hands grab Sjin’s waist and he pulls him into a searing kiss, their teeth knocking slightly from the force.

Mewling, Sjin slides his tongue into Sips’ mouth and breathes the flavour of sticky caramel. Sips flicks his own tongue against it and hums, his nose pressed against Sjin’s cheek to take even more of his taste in. Sjin’s hands tug against Sips’ shirt, and then slide down his chest, causing the businessman to shiver a little in anticipation. Sjin gasps when Sips bites on his bottom lip, and pulls away, gasping for air, the corners of his mouth upturned in a smile.

“I’ve got an idea,” he says, voice gravelly with lust, “An evil idea.”

“I’ll love it then,” Sips hums, and tries to ignore the way his heart knocks against his ribcage when Sjin’s eyes brighten at the word ‘love’. “I can’t hide the fact that I’m a diabolical villain from you, apparently.”

Sjin stands up, Sips has to gulp back a gasp of surprise as he kneels and nestles between Sips’ thighs. “It’s the laugh,” Sjin says, as his slender fingers unbuckle Sips’ belt. “Gives your secret evil identity away.” He unbuttons the top of Sips’ pants, and slides down the zipper. Sips hisses at the sliding motion over his cock, which is hardening rapidly.

“Sj-Sjin,” Sips breathes, and then moans lowly, Sjin’s palm rubbing his bulging crotch. The spikes of arousal exploding over his senses are already a bit much, considering how Sjin hasn’t even exposed Sips’ erection, but, he’ll say it a million times, it’s been a while. “Sjin, god, this _is_ evil.”

“I know, _boss_ ,” Sjin practically sings, before finally sliding his hand into Sips’ boxers and pulling out Sips’ dick, thumb sliding down his foreskin to expose his swollen head. Sips grits his teeth and exhales, his thighs trembling. His skin feels on fire where his boyfriend touches it, and when Sjin’s mouth kisses the head of his length, he is ablaze. He watches Sjin kiss his way down to the base, and back up his shaft, and can’t help but tangle his fingers in the barista’s hair, humming as Sjin’s beard tickles his skin.

Sjin’s breath is hot and needy against Sips’ cock, and his right hand slides up and down Sips’ thigh. The other tugs at his base as Sjin lowers his mouth and swallows Sips down. The intense rush of arousal breaks over Sips and he elicits a loud moan, forgetting where he is. Sjin’s tongue flattens and massages the underside of Sips’ member as he bobs up and down and ignites a fire low in the businessman’s belly.

“F-fuck Sjin, jesus christ, I’m gonna-” Sips gasps, gripping tightly to the barista’s hair. With a pop, Sjin pulls off for a moment. Sips tries not to focus too hard on the string of saliva and precome that links Sjin’s lips and moustache with his cock.

“Raise your hips a little,” Sjin whispers with a wicked grin. Sips complies, and Sjin’s free hand pulls Sips’ boxers and pants down to his knees, then takes Sips into his mouth again. The motion forces Sips deeper into Sjin’s mouth, and the sound of Sjin coughing and swallowing around him only serves to intensify the pleasure. He keens as Sjin squeezes the base of his dick to keep him from coming too early.

Sjin’s fingers tickle the underside of his thigh as if to say ‘not yet’, and slide up towards his balls. As Sjin begins to massage, the heat in Sips increases even further. He feels like he’s going to combust. The only thing he can focus on is Sjin, Sjin’s mouth, Sjin’s hair, Sjin’s hands- oh Sjin’s hands.

“Sjin, Sjin I’m gonna come, f-fuck-” Sips stammers through groans of pleasure, and he swears he feels Sjin _smile_ around him, before there’s a sudden pressure of two fingers against his taint, and he’s coming, hard and fast, into Sjin’s mouth and throat, and it feels earth-shaking, it really does, and everyone in the goddamn building probably heard him shout Sjin’s name, but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t, and Sjin is his grounding and he falls, he falls into Sjin’s arms, he falls into kissing his own thick seed off Sjin’s tongue and it’s disgusting and beautiful and perfect.

Sjin is shaking when they break apart, and shuffling out of his skinny jeans and his briefs, and Sips can only lazily watch in wonder as he is straddled, and the precome slick head of Sjin’s long cock rutting against his belly.

“Sips, Sips, Sipsy _please_ ,” he begs, his hot breath puffing against the curve of Sips’ ear.

Sips grasps Sjin’s shaft and lazily strokes upwards, drinking in Sjin’s whines of need. He slides the pad of his thumb up and over the head of Sjin’s dick, spreading the wet spurts of precome along his member for lube. The barista buries his face into Sips’ neck, and his sounds of pleasure vibrate against Sips’ skin. Sips twists his wrist as he jerks Sjin, increasing the pressure and speed of his palm, and smiles as the man bites Sips’ neck. The businessman bites back a groan, savouring the sight of Sjin’s hips bucking frantically into his hand. The fact that they’re doing this at work somehow makes the whole thing even hotter. He squeezes Sjin’s cock as he gives him a fast, rough stroke, and Sjin makes a garbled noise into Sips’ neck, shudders and comes on Sips’ hand and his apron.

Sighing, sated, Sjin raises his head. “I told you it was evil. I know how to get what I want.”

“But fucking amazing,” Sips groans, stretching. Sjin practically purrs, nuzzling his face against Sips, who looks down at Sjin’s apron. “Isn’t all that come a little... unhygienic?”

Sjin raises an eyebrow, and shows Sips his own palm. “I could ask you the same thing.”

Grinning, Sips cups Sjin’s face with his unsullied hand and kisses him gently, brushing a thumb over his moustache. “Our drinks are cold now, you big dumb-dumb.”

-

After Sjin leaves (awkwardly accompanied by Frank, who looks absolutely mortified, and Sips honestly can’t blame him), Sips returns to his paperwork with a new vigour. His tongue is still laced with the taste of caramel when his phone buzzes.

_hey, that was fun :P x_

He snorts at Sjin’s text, slouching back into his office chair as he types back a reply.

_yeah sjin it was pretty fun_  
 _i liked the part where you mentally scarred most of my employees best_

Smirking, he waits for a response, and sure enough, not even a minute later Sjin has texted him again.

_me?! i think you mean you buster, you were the one moaning really loud!!!! i can’t help my obvious skill ;) x_

_you walked through my building covered in cum_

_i wasn’t covered! i just had a little bit on my apron. which was your fault too, you could have done a better job of catching it! x_

_touche_  
 _was minty impressed_

There’s a significant pause, like Sjin’s avoiding replying. Sips raises his eyebrows at his phone, and puts it back down on the desk, trying to get on with his work and not to check it every two seconds. A couple of minutes later, and it goes off again.

_uh, no she wasn’t. there was a big lecture and now i’m at home washing my apron while she works store front. she made me shower too!!!! :( x_

_oh boo hoo your life sure is hard sjin_

_fuck off! see you at lunch :) xxxxx_

-

A heat wave rolls in a few weeks later. It’s unbearable, and lasts a whole month, and the amount of sweat that pours off Sips at any given moment is probably criminal. Sjin starts to stay over quite regularly, and it makes Sips glad that he’s in a penthouse apartment with no direct neighbours because Sjin can be very loud during ‘certain activities’, but there’s a specific period towards the end of the month where Sjin crashes there for three days straight.

“Lalna’s really cross with me,” he explains, dragging a small wheeled case behind him into Sips’ living room. “Turns out that not many people drink hot coffee in this weather, and our order of iced tea didn’t come, so Minty couldn’t afford my pay, or her own actually. She feels a bit shit about it I think, but I told her not to worry. Had to skip out on rent though, and now I’m here because my roommate is just as broke as I am.”

“You got kicked out?” Sips asks, trying not to sound as concerned as he feels. Sjin’s a grown man, he can look after himself.

“Only by Lalna this time. But we might lose the place if we can’t pay up soon,” the barista sighs, flopping onto Sips’ leather couch and fanning himself with his hand. He’s only wearing a vest and cargo shorts, but so is Sips, and both are feeling the heat, even though Sips had an air con unit installed and everything.

“So I guess you’re job hunting then?”

“The sooner I can get a placement for architecture, the better, you know?”

That night Sips sleeps a foot away from Sjin, in what is rapidly becoming their bed rather than just his, because it is too hot, but he wants to reach out and scoop him into his arms and shower him in everything he could ever want or need.  
-

Sjin’s an early riser, an unnaturally early riser in Sips’ book, whereas if Sips wakes up before ten in the morning he feels like a brick has hit him. Sjin is incredibly apologetic for waking him, and Sips is almost against forgiving him because his head is so heavy and he should _not_ be awake right now, but then Sjin’s hand moves between his legs searching for forgiveness and he finds it very quickly.

Sjin also puts a ban on instant coffee, not that they’d drink it anyway in this heat, and makes iced tea with some leaves he brought from work. They drink it while sprawled on Sips’ couch, skin sticking to the black leather surface as they watch old Star Trek reruns on the TV and talk over them. Sjin leaves his clothes in the bottom of Sips’ wardrobe when he goes to shower, and Sips looks at them like they were exactly what was missing beforehand and he just hadn't noticed.

They order Chinese takeout for dinner, and the night ends with Sjin drunkenly sticking noodles to Sips’ face to match his own facial hair. Sips grins and as he kisses Sjin he chuckles as the noodles fall into Sjin’s beard.

When Sips wakes at midday the next day, it’s to Sjin carding his fingers through Sips’ hair and looking at him with loving, half-lidded eyes.

-

“You didn’t tell us your boyfriend knows Lalna,” Honeydew yells, bursting unannounced into Sips’ apartment a week later, and stopping in his tracks. “Oh, uh, Xephos help!”

Sjin breaks away from a heated kiss and laughs, stretching under Sips on the couch. “Hi. You were lucky we had clothes on.”

Honeydew fakes gagging, and Sips, getting up from straddling Sjin, stalks over and smacks him over the head. “What the fuck, that spare key is for fucking emergencies! You ruined the mood, asshole.”

“Because you haven’t done that to us, ever,” Xephos says, stepping in and pushing Sips away from Honeydew lightly, before closing the door. He looks up, noticing Sjin stretched out like a lazy cat behind Sips. “Hello friend, you must be Sjin.”

The touch of Sjin’s hand over Sips’ shoulders relaxes the businessman as Sjin greets Xephos and Honeydew warmly, stammering a little. It’s surprising to Sips that even though Sjin is sociable and bubbly, he stutters when shy or excited. It’s also incredibly endearing.

“So, you two are a couple then?” Sjin smiles, and looks at Sips with mischief in his eyes. “Sips walks in on you a lot?”

Xephos’ eyes widen, and he begins, “Well, it’s sort of complicated-”

“What are you even here for?” Sips interrupts, not really up for listening to Xephos fumble out an explanation of his polyamorous affections for both Honeydew and a woman named Lomadia, and grabs Honeydew’s arm as he waltzes towards the kitchen area.

Honeydew frowns, looking outraged. “You invited us you pillock!”

Trying to ignore the giggling coming from Sjin’s direction, Sips yelps, “When was that?!”

“A week ago,” Both Xeph and Honeydew look unimpressed.

“Oh Sips, you truly are the best host in all the land,” Sjin catcalls through snorts of laughter.

Sips grabs a cushion from the couch and chucks it at Sjin in reply, who starts laughing wholeheartedly. “Will you shut up you son of a bitch? It’s your fucking fault I forgot, with your sexy sexy fox eyes, and your kissing and your fucking dick, getting all up in my-”

“Woah okay we don’t wanna hear about that thanks!” Honeydew yells, cutting Sips off. At this rate, Sjin’s going to develop a hernia from all the laughing he’s doing. “Anyway,” the short man continues, and, having escaped Sips’ grip on his arm, helps himself to a beer from Sips’ fridge, “You didn’t tell us Sjin roomed with Lalna.”

“Didn’t think it was important,” Sips mumbles, choosing to ignore Sjin who is holding onto his shoulder in a vice grip whilst trying to catch his breath.

“He’s one of our best friends! You knew that,” Xephos exclaims, gesturing to himself and Honeydew.

“And-” Honeydew sighs, “Listen Sips, can we have a chat? Alone?”

Sips raises his eyebrows, and then turns to Sjin, who has calmed down. “Uh, sure?”

Grinning, the barista leans down a little and kisses Sips quickly, and Sips wants to melt into it, but Honeydew has passed his beer to Xeph and is waiting and it’s not the right time for this sort of thing, so he playfully shoves Sjin away, smiling back, and walks with Honeydew into the bathroom.

The door closes behind them, and Sips suddenly feels exposed and nervous. The look on Honeydew’s face is concerned and sad, like he doesn’t want to tell Sips whatever they’re here to discuss. It’s not a good atmosphere to say the least.

Sighing, Honeydew rubs his beard and chin. “Did you know he’s broke?”

“He’s a barista, of course I do.”

“Did you know he’s going to get himself and Lalna kicked out?”

“If business at the shop doesn’t pick up, yeah.”

“Did you know he wants to be an architect?”

“Yes- What the heck is this about? This isn’t a conversation, this is a god damn interrogation.”

Honeydew shuffles from foot to foot. “I don’t want to, to piss you off or ruin our friendship. You’re important to me man, okay? I just. Don’t you think it’s weird that a wannabe architect hooks up with you, a guy in the ‘dirt’ business, who needs a lot of buildings designed, just as he starts to run out of money?”

Sips’ face falls. “Oh. That’s what this is about.”

“Don’t be like that, not straight away,” Honeydew says, hands gesturing at Sips to calm down. “Lalna doesn’t seem to trust him at all Sips, and they live together.”

“And you know him so well ‘cause _Lalna_ told you about him,” Sips retorts, rolling his eyes, “Sure thing. I’m hearin’ a lot about this Lalna and the more I hear the less I wanna know about him. He seems like a bastard.”

“He’s not- He’s a good man! Maybe a bit nuts, but he’s good. Besides, he’s not the one who’s concerned about you here! It’s me, and Xephos.”

“What, ya think I can’t look after myself?”

“No, but I think you’re also a bit biased,” Honeydew looks away briefly, suddenly interested by a mildew stain between two tiles. “I know I’d be the same if you were talking about Xeph.”

“...He’s not with me just so he can get a job.”

“And you know that for sure?”

Sips huffs, and clenches his fists. He doesn’t want to hit his best friend, but he’s really not sure what he might do if this continues.

“Sips, just listen. Don’t you think it’s the least bit suspicious?”

Honeydew’s words echo slightly off the tiled walls, and Sips tries to ignore the sense of sudden dread that swirls in his stomach.

“What am I supposed to do then?”

“I’m not saying you have to do anything. But, you know, tread carefully, alright?” Honeydew reaches up and squeezes Sips’ shoulder. “It’s great to see you so happy for the first time since Zoey, and Xeph and I, we want it to stay that way.”

Sips looks into Honeydew’s eyes and nods. “Okay.”

-

“You never told me Xephos and Honeydew were so complicated,” Sjin hums as he straddles Sips’ lap and rotates his hips. They’re both stripped to their underwear, a trail of clothing tipsily fumbled off of their bodies left behind them from the couch to where they sit on Sips’ bed.

“Can we not talk about this now?” Sips huffs, running hands along Sjin’s slender and lightly freckled sides. He kisses the hollows of Sjin’s throat, swiping his tongue up to meet the wiry hair of Sjin’s jaw.

Sjin rolls his hips again, gasping a little with pleasure as Sips bucks his own hips in response. “But it’s so interesting,” he whines, prodding Sips' shoulder. “And you never told me.”

“You’re such a little gossip Sjin,” Sips grins, grabbing Sjin’s waist and dragging him even closer, a low rumbling moan escaping from his throat. “Wasn’t my place to tell anyway.”

Smiling wickedly, Sjin slides a hand between them and slips it under Sips’ waistband, encircling his half-hard cock. “It’s nice to think that we’re relatively uncomplicated in comparison, that’s all,” he says, leaving feather light kisses around the curve of Sips’ ear.

“Yeah,” Sips grunts in agreement, and dismisses the memory of his conversation with Honeydew by pulling Sjin down for a searing kiss.

-

Sjin holds Sips’ hand as they walk through the bustling town together, and points out his favourite local buildings. His voice is high with enthusiasm and he stumbles over his words, squeezing his hand extra tight whenever he wants to emphasize his point, and gesturing wildly with his left.

“And have you seen those windows?” he gushes, squeezing so tight Sips thinks his knuckles might pop. “I want to see my designs built, designs like these. I want people to, to walk past and look up and feel the way I feel when I see beautiful things.” He looks at Sips, his eyes bright and hopeful, and Sips’ heart leaps.

“It’ll happen Sjin,” Sips says, and he’s earnest for once in his life. “I mean, your designs could kick these bastards outta the water. Godzilla wouldn’t wanna destroy your buildings ‘cause he’d be like, struck by the awesome.”

Laughing, Sjin replies, “Yeah, or he’d eat them, and they’d be a gourmet meal.”

“You’d be a michelin star chef. For Godzillas.”

Sjin kisses Sips, and Sips tries to ignore Honeydew’s voice in the back of his mind as he’s filled with warmth and slips his arms around Sjin’s waist.

-

They’re in Sjin’s cramped single bed together, Sjin sprawled on top of Sips and nuzzling his neck with the sheet haphazardly thrown over their half naked bodies, when Sjin pipes up. “I’m making a mental list of things I like about you.”

“Really?” Sips replies, lazily turning his head to catch Sjin’s eye. “But-”

“Because I want to, that’s why. Don’t act like it’s such a shock,” Sjin says like he’s read Sips’ mind, which he pretty much has.

Sips sighs, caressing the small of Sjin’s back and savouring the softness of his skin. “So, what’s on this list then?”

“Oh, just silly things. Like, uh, like how you’re always surprised when I show you affection. Or how you need to add sugar to everything you eat. Or the way you say the worst swear words and then you use 1920s swears right after.”

“Yeah those are all silly, ‘cause I don’t do those things,” Sips says, grinning. “You got the wrong guy.”

“Yeah yeah sure,” Sjin giggles, poking Sips in the side.

“Any other reasons?”

“There’s also the way you take me out whenever you can, just ‘cause.”

Sips shakes his head slightly, smiling. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sjin replies, fingers dancing along Sips’ collarbones. “I especially liked it when you showed me around Sipsco actually.”

“Oh really? You think it’s cool eh?”

“It’s, uh, it’s pretty fucking sweet yeah,” Sjin chuckles, humming as Sips leans over and kisses his shoulder. “Your architecture department is really- I mean it’s just awesome.”

Sips pauses, lying back into Sjin’s pillow. “...Yeah?” he says hesitantly, his hand stilling against Sjin’s back.

“I just can’t believe what a great job you have in general, but the fact you have that whole department is just the coolest. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do and you know…” he trails off.

Tensing up, Sips frowns. “So my job’s that fucking important?”

“It is to someone who can’t rub two pennies together and wants to work as an architect, yeah.”

“So it’s as important as everything else?”

Sjin sits up, looking affronted. “What’s your problem?”

“My problem is that you know who I am, you know how much money I make, you know that if you twisted my arm you could probably get a placement at my company,” Sips huffs, pushing himself up and staring Sjin down. “My problem is Sjin, how do I know you’re not with me just ‘cause I can get you a job and make you fuckin’ rich?”

“How _dare_ you?” Sjin snarls, getting off the bed abruptly and pulling the sheets off Sips. “Why would you even think-”

“Because it’s all a little convenient Sjin! And what was it... oh yeah you ‘know how to get what you want’.”

This, this is not going smoothly at all, Sips thinks, as he watches Sjin’s jaw drop and his awful, awful blue eyes go cold. He’d anticipated an argument but- Well he didn’t exactly think properly until now.

Sjin shakes his head slightly, and his expression is like ice. “Get out,” he hisses, and Sips feels like a hand just reached inside his throat and scrambled all his insides with razor sharp claws. He can’t breathe, or move, until Sjin’s terrible eyes flash angrily at him, and he looks just long enough to see how hurt the barista is behind that veil of rage, just long enough to catch the tear sliding down Sjin’s cheek.

He dresses, leaves, and when he looks back all he sees is the cracked paint on the door of Sjin’s flat, and can’t help but relate, feeling cold spill through the new cracks in his relationship with Sjin.

-

It’s raining when Sips gets the first angry phone call from Minty. He hangs up within seconds, and blocks incoming calls from her for good measure. He sits by his bedroom window, a shitty instant coffee in his hands, and thinks about how ridiculously hollywood the weather is. Then he starts to think about how that would make Sjin laugh, and he swaps the coffee for beer instead.

-

He tries calling Sjin after a week, but he finds that Sjin’s changed his number. He calls Honeydew, and then yells at him, and then after Honeydew has hung up he shouts at himself. Might as well lose his best friend as well as Sjin. It’s not like it changes his mood much.

-

“Honeydew was just worried, but there was no need to be- well to be a complete cock to Sjin if I’m perfectly honest!” Xephos yells through Sips’ door. “Look, we’re here for you, okay friend? We just think you made the wrong choice.”

He misses lunch at the coffee shop, he thinks, pointedly attempting to ignore Xephos. He misses the drinks Sjin used to make for him, the notes he’d find on the back of his receipts. He misses Sjin’s smile, the dimples in Sjin’s cheeks, the dips of Sjin’s back and the softness of Sjin’s hair. He misses how Sjin’s beard tickled his face when the barista kissed him, he misses the warmth of Sjin’s lips and the feel of Sjin in his arms.

He feels distinctly hollow again, and takes another drink of his coffee, waiting for building security to escort Xephos out.

-

He’s sure he wasn’t this useless before Sjin. He feels like he’s lost a vital part of himself that he needed to function. And he knows that it’s all just his feelings getting in the way, but he’s never really felt like this before. What that means, he’s not sure he wants to think about.

-

“Hello?”

Minty’s voice is calm, and there’s only a hint of tiredness in her voice to indicate how stressed she is about something, but Sips has known her long enough to read the signs. He almost hangs up there and then, because he knows full well that when he makes so much as a sound she will explode into rage.

“H-hey Minty. It’s me. It’s Sips.”

“Sips!” she hisses, her voice crackling as she breathes into the phone. “Sips, where have you been? It’s been three weeks.”

He gulps. Three weeks of hiding in his office, and eating the shitty sandwiches from the cafeteria. Three weeks, and he still hadn’t actually thought of what to say. He just hoped everything would go smoothly. Really, those expectations were unrealistic from the get-go. “I’ve been, uh, I’ve been ya know, fuckin’ busy. With stuff.”

“Uh huh. So what are you calling me for?”

“I-” he chokes on his words a little. His eyes prickle with tears for the first time since Sjin sent him packing, and he wonders if it’s worth it. “I wanted to see Sjin.”

Minty makes an audible noise of frustration, and he’s surprised she hasn’t yelled at him yet. “Sips,” she says, in such a gentle and concerned manner that it sends a spike of fear right through his gut. “I’m with Sjin right now. We’re driving to the airport-”

“What?”

“Sips, he got a placement. A placement out of the country. He’s moving away.”

“Can’t I just,” his voice wavers, and he can’t see, everything’s blurry and his eyes sting. He curses under his breath. “Can’t I come to say goodbye?”

“Whatever. But don’t expect anything, okay? You’re the one who messed this up.”

As he runs to his car, he knows that he wouldn’t do this for anyone else. The thought makes him press down the accelerator that much harder.

-

Sjin is stood with Minty in the customs lounge when Sips makes it to the airport. He’s worrying his lip, and maybe he’s shaking, but Sips can’t really tell from his distance. He’s overwhelmed with, with something, some feeling that has him running towards them before he can even stop to breathe. Minty looks up, and steps away, leaving Sjin stood with his case and an expression that Sips can’t pin down, but the pain behind it almost stops him in his tracks. He slows and stands about a metre from Sjin.

“Hi,” he says, barely above a whisper. “Long time no see eh?”

Running a hand over his beard, Sjin breaks, letting out a small sob. Sips rushes to his side, wanting to help, wanting to hold him. But something stops him from touching the man, so he just stands there lamely as Sjin looks at him imploringly.

“Why did you come back now?” Sjin chokes out. It’s like a slap in the face.

“I- I wanted to see you again, I uh, I missed you and I didn’t know-”

“Shut up,” Sjin says, composing himself a little, but still blinking back tears. “What I mean, what I really mean is, why now? What took so long?”

“I don’t know Sjin, my head was messed up and I needed to think-”

“You didn’t even visit! You blocked Minty’s number! What am I supposed to think?!” Sjin yells, shoving Sips’ shoulder. “You drop completely off the radar, and I finally think maybe I can just forget everything, and then, and then...”

Sips can’t take his eyes off the damage he’s done. The anger and the hatred and the loss and the grief and the loneliness that rolls off Sjin in waves. It’s all his fault.

“I can make it up to you, Sjin,” he says reaching to hold Sjin’s hand, desperately searching for some affectionate contact. “I promise, I’ll make it up to you-”

Sjin pulls his hand away from Sips’, avoiding all attempts at eye contact. “Sips, I’m about to leave the country to do what I’ve always wanted to do. You’re too late.”

“No, Sjin listen, we can make this work, we can be like, long distance,” Sips says, still desperately trying to meet Sjin’s gaze with his own.

“There’s nothing to make long distance Sips,” Sjin hisses through gritted teeth. “You made that very clear.”

“I’ll- I’ll give you a- a job or something, I promise, I promise,” Sips stammers.

“Seriously? After you accused me- I- I can’t believe this.”

“Just don’t leave me,” He can’t lose Sjin, not after he came this far, not after everything. His blood churns around his body like a frozen smoothie being forced down a thin straw, every part of him tightens up, and he can’t breathe properly. “I need you Sjin-”

“If you needed me so much then you would have come back weeks ago Sips,” Sjin sobs, and he’s crying. It’s a terrible, terrible sight, Sjin’s face all blotchy and grimacing as tears slide into his beard. Sips wants, he wants so badly, but he can’t have, Sjin’s made it clear. “I got the offer about a month ago, but I was going to stay, for you. And then you showed me just how much you trust me. You didn’t even try to get my new phone number from Minty, you just sat back and disappeared! Well, well now you’re too late.”

“Sjin-”

“I have to go.” Slender fingers tighten around a suitcase, Minty’s heels click against the hard floor and her hand brushes Sips’ shoulder. Sjin’s feet shuffle to and fro for a moment. “Goodbye Sips.”

Tears cloud his vision as he reaches for Sjin one last time. “I love you, you know,” Sips chokes as the dam bursts and he cries openly for the first time. “You’re so fucking important Sjin, please, I love you-”

Sjin turns, and walks away, and leaves Sips crying in the middle of the customs lounge, finally realising what he threw away. Realising that he loves Sjin but it’s all too late.

-

Sips cries for a week, and he hates it. He hates that people can see what he’s feeling. He hates that he has carry tissues everywhere, because he doesn’t know what will set him off. He hates that Sjin meant so much to him to mess him up so much. He hates that he can’t visit Xephos and Honeydew without ending up sobbing into Xeph’s shoulder. He hates that he can’t sleep until the exhaustion of his sadness finally knocks him out. He hates the way his nose flares and his lips curl out and his eyes squint down to almost nothing as the first tears fall. He hates that he can’t stop once he’s started.

-

Like the days before- before _him_ , Sips falls back into the old cycle. Bad coffee to keep him from falling asleep at any time, because he can’t sleep at night. Work mindlessly to try and keep his mind off how lonely he feels without someone randomly visiting his office, and more coffee. He visits the coffee shop at lunch again, but he pointedly avoids ordering any drink Sjin made for him, and sits in the corner of the shop as he tries not to let his sadness, and then his anger, spill out. He usually fails, and the sympathetic looks Minty gives him from behind the counter don’t make him feel any less pathetic, or any less broken. He goes home to his apartment and tries to ignore how a certain patch on the couch smells like Sjin, or how he keeps finding Sjin’s old belongings in cupboards and drawers. He tries to ignore the echo of Sjin’s laughter on the air as he lies in bed, or the echo of Sjin’s goodbye in his head as he swallows down the urge to cry again.

-

“I’m not going to act like it wasn’t your fault,” Minty sighs, one hand holding Sips’ over the table and a cup of herbal tea in the other. The shop is meant to be open by now, but Minty’s determined on having a serious conversation with Sips without being interrupted. “Because it was your fault, and you need to accept that.”

Sips nods slightly, staring at his sullen expression in his coffee.

“I know it’s hard Sips, and- gosh I could see that you loved him. But he’s gone, and maybe it’s best if you move on now too? Because he’s not coming back.” She squeezes Sips’ hand a little, and takes a drink from her teacup.

“He’s happy?”

“From what I can tell from skype calls, yes.”

It’s crushing, absolutely crushing for Sips to hear, because Sjin shouldn’t be happy while Sips is miserable, it’s not fair at all. But life isn’t fair, and it never has been.

“Okay then,” Sips says, hardening his resolve and taking a gulp of coffee.

“Okay?”

“Okay. I’ll move on.” He’s not going to cry over Sjin any more. It’s not worth the effort.

-

Minty gets a new boyfriend. He’s Scottish, and nerdy, and nothing like Sjin at all, except for how ridiculously charming he is. Sips decides he hates him, and bullies him whenever he sees him at Minty’s shop. Minty tells Sips off, but there’s a concern in her eyes that makes him want to vomit.

-

Sips doesn’t notice that Minty hired two new baristas for a week, until she brings it up in conversation with him. Why would he though? Neither ‘Panda’ or Kim seemed particularly special, not after Sjin.

Kim gives him extra cakes with his orders, and Panda always knows the right amount of sugar for his coffee though, so he guesses they’re okay. Something about the way they speak to him like he’s a fragile piece of china makes him feel a little betrayed by Minty, but he supposes someone had to explain to them why he sits in the shop and mopes like a kicked dog.

-

The spot on the couch doesn’t smell like Sjin anymore. He can’t really remember what Sjin’s laugh sounds like, although he does still remember how it made him feel. Sjin’s things are in a box by his apartment door, waiting to be thrown out. Sips looks at it, and then makes another coffee. Not yet.

-

“Hey Sips,” Honeydew’s voice says tentatively through the phone, as Sips tips some instant into his mug. “I was thinking, and so was Xeph, and Lomadia actually, we, uh, we thought that you could maybe do with getting out of your apartment. You haven’t come out with us in ages, and we think you need it mate. We haven’t seen you in forever.”

Sips tilts the kettle, pouring the scalding water into his mug, casts his eyes over the emptiness of his apartment, and then replies. “Sure.”

-

It’s been eight weeks, three days, and seventeen hours since Sjin left him at the airport.

Sips carries the box from his doorway to the trunk of his car, and places it in gently. He brushes the top with his knuckles, like a farewell kiss. He is still sad, but it is ebbing away slowly into a void inside him. He shuts the trunk, and drives to the dump.

When he gets home, the box is in the ground, with all of Sjin’s abandoned clothes and his little sketches and the mug Sips bought him that says ‘world’s best grandma’, and the space by the door is just as empty as the rest of the apartment. If Sjin were there still, he’d probably wonder why Sips threw out a piece of him. Sips pauses, frowning slightly, and then goes to his espresso machine with added haste.

-

He’s memorised when all of Sjin’s favourite TV shows come on so he doesn’t have to watch them. He knows what all of Sjin’s favourite foods are and plans his shopping to miss those aisles. He gives the clothes Sjin complemented to charity.

Best to pretend like Sjin never even existed.

-

“You look better,” Minty says over lunch, her hand curling reassuringly around Sips’, and he smiles convincingly for the first time in the past three months. She smiles back, although her eyes twitch like she’s hiding something. Sips does his best to assume it’s nothing.

-

It’s been three months, a week, six days and twelve hours since Sjin left him when there’s a knock on his door. Sips puts his coffee down on the counter, and searches for his keys. “I’m coming! Just wait a second, where are my keys, I know I put ‘em somewhere-”

The lock clicks open, and Sips only has a moment to think ‘Am I being robbed?’, when Sjin walks into the apartment.

He’s dressed in a tatty jacket with a tight t shirt and even tighter jeans, just like always. He smiles a little, his awfully blue eyes filled with hope, and says, “You forgot to take back your spare key.”

It’s funny, how Sips has spent the past three months erasing everything he felt for Sjin, trying to forget and move on, only to find that everything floods back in a wave of destruction. All the walls he built to block the tears and the pain and the heartache crumble against the sea that fills him up again, and pins him to his spot.

“Sips, are you okay?” Sjin asks, and his voice is like air that Sips forgot he wasn’t breathing but needs to survive.

“You’re here,” he replies, barely above a whisper. “Why are you here?”

Sjin steps forward, and his hand touches Sips’, and the touch is slightly calloused and warm and a little sweaty, and it’s wonderful. “I’m here because I- I realised that I need you too.”

“So you just come back,” Sips says, still relishing Sjin’s presence, his heart screaming to touch and kiss and hold and smell. But his heart is also still hurting from everything that happened. He has to use his head. “You can’t just walk back in after three fuckin’ months!”

‘I was just getting over you,’ he thinks. ‘It’s not fair.’

Sjin’s face darkens a little, and he steps back again. “You just can’t walk back just as I’m leaving the country, but you did anyway.”

“Because it wasn’t over then,” Sips says, grimacing at the memory of Sjin leaving. He didn’t really think they were even truly over, and then Sjin upped and left. Running his hands through his hair, anger builds inside him. Sjin left, Sjin left and he expects everything to be fine? “But then you said goodbye, _you_ fuckin’ said it Sjin, and I let you go.”

“Clearly, it wasn’t,” Sjin yelps in reply, “Because I’m here aren’t I!”

‘I was ruined without you, you son of a bitch!’ Sips wants to yell, wants to scream, and everything he’s wanted to say threatens to boil over in his mind and come spilling out of his mouth. He wants to tell Sjin to ask Minty, Honeydew and Xephos what it must have been like having to put up with him. He wants to say how he wasted so much time on getting over Sjin, how he could barely bring himself to get rid of all of Sjin’s _shit_ that was lying around because it was Sjin’s, because he’s pathetic and thought maybe that would bring Sjin back. And yet, here Sjin is, and all of his things are gone.

Sjin’s face turns red with anger. “You thought I was with you for the money!” he shouts, spittle flying from his lips. Sips steps back, shocked. He’s never seen Sjin _this_ angry before. “How do you think that made me feel?! Everything I did, everything I _felt_ , and you thought it was so I could get at your work, or-or your cash!”

“I did that because I was scared okay! What if-” Sips inhales, pinching the bridge of his nose between forefinger and thumb.

“What if you’d fallen for me and it’d been based on a lie?” Sjin snarls, and even now he can somehow read Sips’ mind. “Way to trust me Sips.”

“I- I couldn’t take that goddamned chance Sjin.”

“But you didn’t _trust me_. And then you come running back after three weeks with apologies. Three weeks!” Sjin squeaks, still red with anger. “After nothing at all. I- I couldn’t deal with that, I was just leaving and you came back, and it was too much! After you showed me that you didn’t trust me at all, how could I trust my _future_ with you?! I had to go and take the opportunity I was certain I had, there was no real choice!”

“So why are you back then?!” Sips practically screams, his whole body aching to know, to understand, to resolve the maelstrom of hate and love and confusion inside himself. Sjin’s eyes widen and he gasps quietly in shock, and then he’s rushing over to Sips and his arms are wrapping around the businessman and Sips doesn’t even process what’s happening until he’s clinging to the back of Sjin’s coat and sobbing into the taller man’s shoulder, gulping down deep breaths of Sjin’s scent.

“I hated it, and I didn’t know why,” Sjin whispers into Sips’ hair, his voice wavering. “I was finally doing that I had always wanted to do, and I hated it. And then, just the other day, I realised something.”

Sips leans back to look up at Sjin, and both of their eyes and noses are streaming. “What? What is it you bastard?”

Sjin chuckles, using the sleeve of his jacket to gently dry Sips’ face, and Sips would make a comment about being treated like a kid except he’s soaking up the sound of Sjin’s fluttering breaths and remembering, remembering how Sjin’s beautiful laughter sounds.

“I realised that it was pointless if I couldn’t have you,” Sjin says, so so so softly that Sips almost doesn’t hear. But he does, and he can’t breathe again. “You’re stupid, and mean, and you have the dumbest sense of humour- don’t deny it, and your morning breath stinks, and you drink coffee even though you hate it just because it makes you feel professional, but it’s all wonderful because it’s all part of the list.”

“The list?”

“The list of reasons why I’m in love with you,” Sjin says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“You fucker,” Sips growls, and tugs Sjin down into a kiss. Sjin’s taste is like rain after a drought, and Sips laps it up, sucking Sjin’s lower lip between his own as his hands slide up and down Sjin’s waist. Sjin’s arms wind around his upper back, and the man hums against the kiss, sending waves of warmth to Sips’ stomach. He breaks away, smiling softly as Sjin nuzzles his face, moustache tickling his cheek. “You can have the placement at Sips Co, I know you didn’t just seduce it outta me. I’m sorry,” he mumbles.

“I missed you,” Sjin sighs, his fantastically blue eyes meeting Sips’.

“I love you,” Sips replies, and when Sjin kisses him again, he knows that he won’t lose him.

-

"I expect you to propose to me in this shop you know," Sjin says one day when they're having a hot drink together. They're both soaked to the skin from the rain outside, and Sjin's beard is dripping into his hot chocolate. "With a ring at the bottom of an espresso or something. Or uh, maybe not actually because I'd probably choke, or swallow it."

Sips laughs, but doesn't reply simply because he's surprised Sjin's expectations of him even extend that far into their future.

"No, I've got it!" Sjin exclaims. "A bagel. I expect you to get on one knee and use a bagel as a ring. Or maybe hide the ring in the hole of the bagel, because I'm not sure I want a stale piece of bread on my finger for the rest of my life."

Laughing again, Sips agrees, and they continue to discuss the pros and cons of running a jewelers that only sold baked goods, but not before Sips promises he will propose that way.

If a year and a half later Sips has kept to his word and Sjin has forgotten about it, well, it makes the surprise that much better.

**Author's Note:**

> And now to thank my beautiful betas, Allgalimatias and Spiderish, who stuck with this thing throughout its inception and helped me make it WAY better than it was at the start. Without them I wouldn't have finished this thing.  
> Really they should have beta'd my awful summary.
> 
> And also, thanks to all the people whose fics and headcanons I referenced in here. I know for a fact I referenced my dear friend gothie's fics at least once, she's the world's best grandma.
> 
>  **Y'all should check this fanart out! It's awesome and I'm so flattered! <3 ** sidelane.tumblr.com/post/61283285539/i-wanted-to-make-an-attempt-at-practiceing-drawing


End file.
